Now What? 21 March 2008

John 19:38-42
Good Friday
21 March 2008

There is always that moment. What moment?, you ask. The moment after you've notified all of the family and friends, after the funeral director has completed his/her work, after the pastor has prayed and preached, after the choir has sung, after the funeral is over, the burial completed, the repast eaten, after the limousine has dropped you off, after your relatives have come and gone, after the house is empty, after you have changed your clothes. There is always that moment when there is nothing left to do.

The disciples must be exhausted after their whirlwind week of activity. There were already signs that their bodies were fading just after the Passover meal, when they were supposed to keep watch while Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane but they fell asleep instead. In all likelihood, that's the last time they've slept. Thursday night they followed the proceedings - to Herod's palace, to Pilate's court, to the place of scourging, from judgment hall to judgment hall. Friday, though standing afar off, they observed Jesus' tortuous journey toward Golgotha, the place of the Skull, and up Calvary, the mountain of crucifixion. As the life ebbed out of the beloved but broken body of their teacher and friend, the hope ebbed out of them. They must be exhausted. Now a virtual stranger has claimed the body of their Christ and placed him in a garden in a tomb. And there is nothing left for anyone to do, at least not until after the Sabbath has ended.

I came to the Lenten season with an agenda, and I bet you did too. I had a list of issues that I wanted God to deal with. And I'll confess to you that in the darkness of Good Friday I am struck by how little has worked out. The heavens have not opened up with a miraculous answer to all of the questions I had/have. Like the woman who anointed Jesus' body, I believe that I have done what I could. And on this evening after all of the arrangements, commemorations, and reflections, I am left to ask "Now what?" The answer I was not quite prepared for, but it came to me even as I was writing: GRIEVE. Grieve the disappointments, the losses, the failures. Grieve the dreams deferred and the hopes unrealized. That must have been what the disciples did after the burial of Jesus. By Friday evening they must be baptized in grief.

Painful as it is, sisters and brothers, face it and grieve. At least until Sunday.

Sing, "The Old Rugged Cross"

Let us pray:
Lord, I pray for those who read this meditation to face their grief. Give us courage to speak to you of our disappointments and losses. Turn our anger and mourning into greater trust in you. Make our sorrow good grief, healing grief. And come Sunday when the morning dawns, may we be filled all the more with joy for having faced our sadness today. Amen