Worship and Doubt

Matthew 28:16-20
Thursday, 27 March 2008

I continue to be struck, in my reading of the Gospels, by the human capacity for ambivalence. Perhaps this reflects my own preoccupation of late with my own tendency to vacillate. I am in the midst of several transitions in my life, and I admit that the way I feel changes so quickly that sometimes even I have a hard time keeping up. It's good to know that I'm not the only one whose feelings are in flux.

The women pass along the message to the disciples to meet Jesus in the previously appointed place, the place where he had instructed them. For Matthew, this meeting represents the other disciples' first recorded encounter with the risen Christ. When the women met Jesus, they had fear and great joy, along with their worship. When the 11 remaining close followers saw Jesus, they worshipped but some doubted. More important, whatever uncertainty was in them - and Jesus surely knows what's in them -Jesus still called them and commissioned them to replicate their discipleship in others.

I, for one, rejoice that Jesus sees my fear and my faith, my conviction and my uncertainty, but still calls me close and sends me forth. Last week, I heard a preacher quoting C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters. In Lewis's work, Screwtape and Wormwood work for the devil and consider God their Enemy. Here's what Screwtape tells Wormwood, "

Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger, than when a human, no longer desiring, but intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.

What I am trying to say to you, sisters and brothers, is that the most important thing that the disciples did was to obey and to worship, in spite of their doubts. And the most important thing for us to do is to obey and worship the Living Christ no matter how we are feeling at a particular moment.

Sing, "Lead Me Guide Me"

Let us pray:
In a world that is in transition and with lives that are in flux, we are thankful to know that in you there is stability. While we wait as you fix our hearts and regulate our minds and emotions, we seek the grace simply to do your will, to obey your word, and to worship you. Make us instruments on the Lord's side in the cosmic battle. Keep us faithful until the end, in Jesus' name.